I’m not exactly one for “so bad it’s good”…but once in a while a piece of crap film becomes so legendary, it just must be seen. Such was the case with THE ROOM, a steaming opus from a writer/director/actor/producer named Tommy Wiseau.

Luckily, I was invited to experience this tripe full-bore at a local cinema here in town…and what I experienced was indeed rather legendary. Full thoughts after the jump.

First a synopsis for the uninitiated. THE ROOM is a 2003 drama that feels like a rejected submission to “The Red Shoe Diaries”. It’s the story of Johnny (Wiseau), his fianceefuture wife Lisa, and Johnny’s best friend Mark. How do you know Mark is Johnny’s best friend? They’ll tell you…specifically…over and over again. For utterly unclera reasons, Lisa isn’t fulfilled by her relationship with Johnny and has decided to fill the void by hittin’ it with Mark. This seems to shock the holy hell out of Mark, since he acts pretty darned surprised every time she makes a move.

If a love triangle isn’t enough for you, fear not: subplots abound. For starters there’s Lisa’s mom, who comes and goes scolding her daughter about what she is and isn’t capable of, and how lucky she is to have Johnny. Oh yeah, and did I mention? Lisa’s mom has breast cancer. But it can’t be that important in the world this film inhabits since it’s mentioned once – rather offhandedly – then dropped, and never brought up again.

Still not enough? Well there’s also Denny…a young man who lives nearby. He wanders in and out of Johnny and Lisa’s place with Urkel-like abandon, and exists perfectly at the apex of wholesome, creepy, and simple. I’m not sure what had me more perplexed about Denny – his brazen jumping into foreplay between Johnny and Lisa, or his absurd encounter on a rooftop with a drug dealer.

Peppered with redundant exterior shots, some of the unsexiest love scenes you’ll ever see, random moments of tossing a football, and characters who appear out of nowhere without introduction…the film quite simply defies belief. Like I said – a steaming opus.

The film on its own will leave you mouth agape, not believing that all these people were able to create this with a straight face…but it gets infinitely more fun when watching it with the right crowd.

Lady Hatter and I braved an especially cold night, and ventured to The Royal Theatre here in Toronto for an interactive midnight show. You see in the seven years since its release, THE ROOM has achieved a particular level of notoriety…to the point where it has joined films like THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW in gaining cult audiences that love to play along with the insanity. How big of a cult? Enough to sell out this midnight showing and leave scores of would-be patrons to be turned away at the door.

Those that got in weren’t content to watch and laugh. Nay – they come prepared. For instance, one odd inclusion in the film is a framed photo of a spoon on an end table inside of Johnny & Lisa’s front door. Anytime this oddity is visible in the shot (which is often), the crowd started hollering “S-p-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-n!!!!” and tossed plastic spoons into the air. Not only does this never get old, but after two or three instances, there were enough spoons collecting at my feet to allow me to join in. Gotta tell ya – I won’t soon forget the sight of a virtual blanket of plastic cutlery covering the aisle on my walk out.

Those brutal sex scenes I mentioned? Those get greeted with audience members holding lighters up in the air like Wiseau had just launched into “Freebird”. Hell, even the crummy songs that get played under the scene are fodder for the audience to sing along with. When they’re not saying lines along with Johnny (“You’re tearing me apart!”), they’re heckling the movie’s increasing absurdity. Random characters are greeted with “Who the fuck are you!?”…while repeated sweeping shots across the Golden Gate Bridge prompt responses of “Go! Go! Go!”.

The oddest thing? Even though the omnipresent buzz of the crowd drowned out the dialogue more often than not, I can’t say I missed a damned thing. That’s right gang – I couldn’t hear half of what was going on, but still had a blast. How many movies can you say that about??

Between the absolute ridiculousness of the film itself, and the overflowing joy coming from the crowd on hand, it was impossible not to get caught up in THE ROOM. Would I ever sit at home and watch this again on dvd? Not on your life.

Would I ever brave bitter cold and sleep deprivation to watch this with a packed house? You better believe it.