Scared

When you start flipping channels and find an endless array of horror movies on TV you can tell that Halloween is coming. When I was a kid it was a time to hike a few blocks toward the rich neighbourhood and hope to score a few full-sized chocolate bars. As I got older, it became a time to keep up the costumed fun with friends at parties and other such get-togethers. But nowadays, it feels more like a time to let those younger than I do the trick-or-treating, while I stay home and find a movie or two to scare me. Now I don’t scare easy, but over time there have been a handful that have gotten under my skin. I don’t think these are the “scariest movies of all time”, they’re just the ones that did the best job of giving me the heebie–jeebies. So mock me if you must, and I’m certain some of you must, but they are…

#5. THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974)… I’m not certain how this movie comes across on a big screen, but when I watched it on DVD I felt a knot in my stomach. The low-budget, almost sixteen millimeter, look of the movie made it feel like someone’s home movie…making all the more disturbing. Perhaps the ultimate example of why you should never pick up hitch hikers, MASSACRE is deeply unsettling. The fact that it begins with story of graveyard vandalism should serve as fair warning that nothing good is about to come. Just thinking back, I get a shiver down my spine, and a repulsed taste in my mouth…but what do you expect after watching someone hung up on a meat hook?

#4. CREEP (2004)… Heard of it? Didn’t think so. It’s a not-so-great film that never caught on, but played during the 2004 Toronto International Film Festival. The story is pretty simple; Franka Potente goes to take the London subway home one night, and after sitting herself down on a bench, nods off to sleep. When she wakes up, she realizes she’s missed the last train, and has gotten locked inside the station. Oh yeah…and it turns out, something else is down there. There’s a lot of wailing and moaning from deep in darkened tunnels, which of course screwed with my head much more than had this odd little beast been front and centre the whole time. I left the theatre thinking I was OK, but truthfully, I had to put the most wholesome music I could think of on my iPod that night to help me sleep. Thank-you Paul Simon.

#3. Ju-On (2000)… Long before Sarah Michelle Gellar starred in a substandard American re-hash, this low budget Japanese movie came along and made getting scared a lot of fun. I loved that the effects in this movie were sometimes simple, sometimes campy, and always delightfully creepy. For instance, the ominous low moan the evil in the story let loose before it claimed another victim, or the fact that nothing good is coming your way when you see that young man in the photo above. The crowd I saw this movie with was perhaps the most raucous I’ve ever been part of, which was a good thing, since every round of applause and laugh at a good scare helped ease this spooky experience. And if you think that kid looks spooky, imagine seeing him peeking through an elevator window at the protagonist. And then again when she gets to the second floor. And the third. And the fourth…

#2. RINGU (1998)… Yep, back to Japan. Truthfully, I felt the American version of this one (2003’s THE RING) was pretty well done. But again, for a good creep-out, you can’t beat the lower-budget Japanese original. RINGU lands high on my list because for me it’s a very unique movie – it’s one of the few I can’t fall asleep watching. I used to put on a DVD and let myself drift off to sleep as it played, like listening to Cusack or Kidman tell me a bedtime story. But hearing the eerie sound effects of RINGU coming from my TV as I try to drift off is a lot more like Christopher Walken reading me Edgar Allen Poe. Truthfully, the first time I watched it, I did nod off…for five minutes…just before the end. Believe me, when you wake up to the sight of the girl that ends this movie, you’ll give your head a shake pretty quick…and probably not fall asleep again anytime quick.

#1. THE EXORCIST (1975)… I’ve seen this movie on TV four or five times. At night. in broad sunshine. Starting from the beginning…coming in at the middle. When I was fourteen, again when I was seventeen. I think I caught it again last year. But here’s the thing: I just. Can’t. Watch it. I’ve tried…over and over I assure you, but I just find it far too disturbing. A lot of younger viewers find this movie laughable, corny, and not at all scary. Maybe they just have a better tolerance than me, I don’t know. What I do know, is that it isn’t what I’m watching that shakes me up, its what I’m hearing. Laced in with the soundtrack is audio of angry bees and slaughtered pigs, to say nothing of that demonic voice. I’m betting that the main character’s last name is the same as mine doesn’t help, but it all adds up to something that just shakes me up too much. So while it may seem like a textbook choice…or while it may make me seem like a giant wuss…the fact that THE EXORCIST scares me so much that I can’t watch/listen after all these years lands it on top of my list.

Did I forget one? Leave a comment and tell me your choices for movies that scare you. Likewise, feel free to leave suggestions for next week’s top five