Ryan: “I saw THE LOSERS last night”
Bob: “What’d you think?”
Ryan: “Two out of four”
Bob: “Didn’t like it huh?”
Ryan: “I didn’t say that”

The Losers are an elite US Special Forces team on assignment in the Bolivian jungle. They are led by Lt. Col Frank Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan). The team includes a first officer named Roque (Idris Elba), a systems hacker named Jensen (Chris Evans), a sniper named Cougar (Oscar Jaenada), and a pilot/driver named Pooch (Columbus Short). In the midst of their mission, they make a decision that takes them completely away from where they are supposed to be. It’s a lucky break, since where they are supposed to be gets destroyed by an American strike. Someone on their own side wanted them dead, and in a split-second decision, they are ready to toss their dog tags into the fire and play along.
While in hiding in Mexico, Clay is approached by a pretty young thing named Aisha. After a slight seduction, she proves to be more than just eye candy. She knows who The Losers are, and that indeed they are supposed to be dead. For reasons that she doesn’t explain, she wants to contract them for a job. She’ll smuggle them back into the country, and point them towards the brains behind their attempted killing, Max (Jason Patric). What’s in it for her? Not entirely sure. Can she be trusted? Not entirely sure of that either.


Forgetting the fact that this film feels like an advance peek at THE A TEAM, I had trouble with a lot of the casting. Robert Patrick starts out having fun with his villainous role, but on several occasions sails right past hammy and into silly. I’ll give him points for chewing all of the scenery on his plate, but he had no business getting up for a second helping. Likewise perplexing was Zoe Saldana. She worked the role of Aisha for every bit of allure the character has, however she wasn’t able to cut that with the right amount of toughness.

THE LOSERS is a rather obvious and formulaic action movie. On more than one occasion it defies the laws of physics, and presents amazingly obvious treasons and double crossings. Its pacing is way off, so much so that it feels like it’s ending ten minutes after it started. It’s yet another poor adaptation of a Vertigo (DC) graphic novel – though it should be noted, that I don’t believe the source material is any sort of sacred text.

Speaking of that source material, I’m perplexed with the attempt to turn the comic series into a movie franchise. There are many markers in place that point towards hopes of this spawning a trilogy, which now is unlikely at best. I can’t help but wonder how much better this film would have been if it was given another thirty minutes runtime, and an attempt was made at mining the entire comic run (a svelte sixty issues) to create one stand-alone screenplay.

…but…

Getting back to what I said off the top; for what I wanted it to be, THE LOSERS was a lot of fun. I walked into the film needing a palette cleanser, something to offset the intelligence of all the docs I’ve been watching lately. Essentially, I was looking for good stupid fun. Where the latter two elements are concerned, THE LOSERS delivered. Chris Evans is especially amusing, and probably the best thing about this flick besides its use of “Don’t Stop Believin’ “. I laughed out loud on more than one occasion, got one or two great stunt sequences, and left happy. I can’t really recommend it to anyone – it’s crap. But it’s my kind of crap.

Matineescore: ★ ★ out of ★ ★ ★ ★
What did you think? Please leave comments with your thoughts and reactions on THE LOSERS.

7 Replies to “THE LOSERS

  1. Yeah this does look like it'll be kind of entertaining. Right now I'm thinking of catching it when it hits the cheapo theaters.

    I love your opening quote, I get that all the time, especially when I say I thought a movie was "ok." Those conversations were the start point for many of my rants on love/hate movie viewing.

  2. psst.. It's Jason Patric. I think they stay in Bolivia, not Mexico, but not 100% on that.

    I loved the movie. Loved it. It's a fun time with a great cast that have great chemistry. Awesome blend of action and comedy.

    With the exception of some of the comic book things added that don't quite read, there isn't much I'd say that was crap in it. I'm actually surprized more people aren't loving it.

    We have tons of ensemble cast action and/or action comedies this year (A-Team as you mentioned, plus The Expendables and Kick-Ass), they have a high potential for people to like 'em.

  3. @ Univarn… Know what, hold off on it until we get into the summer. With all the crap that's coming to theatres this year, this will make for a handy alternative.

    @ Shannon… Fixed – thanks.

    I had fun, I saw a lot of stuff that's been done better in other films. There isn't much new here, it actually felt a little short, and I think people will find it kinda forgettable.

    But hey, as long as – like you – I feel like I got my money's worth out of it, who cares if I recommend it to others, right?

    @ Simon… Quite insightful, thanks for that.

  4. Hey there's nothing wrong with enjoying a 'good stupid fun' flicks once in a while, I mean isn't that what a bunch of those summer popcorn movies are all about? I haven't seen this one, probably later on dvd. I'll be first in line for A-Team though, and I WANT to see those physics-defying sequences, which I'm sure will be in every single scene! 🙂

  5. I'm with Simon. This isn't terrible – if it were made in the 80s, it might even be a beloved cheesy action flick (Hatter, haven't you turned your back on Top Gun? How can you do that and then say that this is "your kind" of crap?), but I felt it was missing enough characteristics to steer it away from forgettable and boring. I like Jeff Dean Morgan, but he's just too bland of a lead. Ditto Saldana – they can dress her up all she wants, but she seems to be trying to be cool way more than actually being cool. Hell, the guy that didn't talk (Cougar) was my favorite character…

    " I'll give him points for chewing all of the scenery on his plate, but he had no business getting up for a second helping."

    I rather liked Patric overall. He's usually the one being boring in a flick, but was a hoot here. That said, I love your line.

  6. I liked Jeffrey Dean Morgan very much as The Comedian in "Watchmen," but he kinda freaks me out because he looks like just like Javier Bardem.

    Go on. I'll wait for you to Google them both. Then you'll see!

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