With trouble a-brewing, a town marshall informs his deputy that they’ll be stepping into duty shortly. With a dry wit, the deputy asks “May I finish my coffee first?”. Without a hint of sarcasm, the marshall replies “You surely may.”

Easy exchanges and well-written moments like this make APALOOSA truly memorable. What happens in between these moments though…not so much.

APPALOOSA begins with a killing. When the town marshall of Appaloosa, NM tries to apprehend local rancher/badass Randall Bragg (Jeremy Irons) he gets ruthlessly gunned down. Not wanting to let lawlessness take over their town, the local politicians turn the keys over to a pair of gunmen. Marshall Virgil Cole (Ed Harris) and Deputy Everett Hitch (Viggo Mortensen) agree to take the job, with the proviso that they can make the laws up as they go. They’re good at what they do, and the town has precious few choices, so the job is theirs – conditions and all.

Cole & Hitch make apprehending Bragg their first order of business, and early on match his every move and word…until the girl shows up. “The girl” is a widow named Allison French (Renee Zellweger), a widow who arrives in town with a dollar in her pocket and no prospects. Conveniently, Cole takes a shining to her, so her worries disappear rather quickly…and his worries suddenly begin to mount. The metal of Cole’s resolve, and even the ties of his friendship and partnership with Hitch get continually tested as Bragg works his way in and out of their capture.

If that outline sounded a tad sloppy and lacklustre, that’s quite fitting for the film it’s describing. APPALOOSA doesn’t feel the need to follow the long, slow inclining formula of the classic western. Nor does it ever take the low road, and become a run-and-gun movie like some of the more popular cowboy shoot-em-ups of recent years. It plods around in circles, teasing direction and quickly abandoning it like a swimmer dipping their toe in a cold lake.

APALOOSA’s worst crime of all though, is wasting the talents of Jeremy Irons. This is an actor capable of first rate villainery, but aside from the aforementioned ruthlessness in the movie’s opening moments, he is never allowed to go outside and play. As if neutering “Scar” isn’t bad enough, the hefty role handed to Renee Zellweger takes a bad situation and makes it worse. The turtle dove role of Mrs. French is wasted, since she doesn’t ever give a glimmer of the savvy, seduction, or sultriness her character supposedly possesses. The movie would have been much better served giving the part to an unknown with more spunk, perhaps if the role had a bit more sizzle, the film wouldn’t feel like such a mess.

For all its faults, APPALOOSA gets marks for one key detail – the pairing of Harris and Mortensen. They play delightfully well off each other, evoking memories of Newman and Redford. Steely killers when they need to be, and pleasant jokers when they don’t, the two Oscar nominees have a chemistry that keeps the movie afloat in the waters of the mundane. They finish each others sentences, and often act more like brothers than partners. the movie marks the second time the two have worked together and I sincerely hope it isn’t the last.

If a movie is a road trip, APPALOOSA feels like it got off the highway to take a more scenic route. The problem with such ideas, is that if you’re going to take the long way around, the destination better be damned worth it…and that’s where APPALOOSA fails. It breaks the mould of the western, but doesn’t add anything by doing so. It features some snappy lines, but not much else. It’s not a bad movie, but ends up feeling like a wasted opportunity.

Matineescore: ★ ★ 1/2 out of ★ ★ ★ ★
What did you think? Please leave comments with your thoughts and reactions on APPALOOSA.

2 Replies to “APPALOOSA

  1. I saw this movie last night, and completely agree with you. While it it was better than most, I don’t understand why this received such good ratings.

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