This time last year, I paused for a moment to catch my breath before starting the year in earnest.
As I try to establish my footing for 2013, I’m beginning to think a moment of reflection will help me move forward. So, if you don’t mind, allow me a moment to think out loud about where I’ve been and where I’m going.
New Year’s Eve marked three years of posting every day for me. It hasn’t quite become “as natural as breathing”, but it certainly has become part of the daily routine. Some people begin their day with yoga; I end mine with words. That said, I look down at my waistline and consider that perhaps I should sacrifice some words for yoga. Regardless, the daily routine has helped me sharpen my skill in specific ways.
Several times over, I have championed the unpopular or decried the favourite. In the past, I have had trouble articulating my position. Over time though, putting my thoughts out there has helped me find a bit more conviction and clarity. I’ll never be done with my quest for clarity and conviction, but I’m ahead of where I was a few years ago “…which is nice” as Bill Murray would say.
In some ways I fear that I’ve given up part of the communal aspect of what I do. It’s still there of course, and in so e respect what used to happen in comment sections has now moved to Twitter. But with every passing year more of the old familiar faces find other things to do with their time. It’s funny: change is the only constant where the internet is concerned. Still, I’m lucky to know the other writers that I know…they continue to inspire me and push me to up my game. Often they don’t even realize they’re doing it!
Back to my routine for a moment, I have to thank Lindsay who bought me a laptop for Christmas 2011…the thing has been a godsend. Besides the fact that it’s actually my first computer that is fully “mine”, it has also allowed us both to work on what we want to work on without worrying about what the other might be waiting to do. When your significant other works from home, this makes for a much happier marriage. What I didn’t expect from using a laptop, was how it would allow me better focus by being more comfortable. Someone take a look through the posts of 2012 and tell me if you can tell that most of them were written sitting on a couch. With the setup being comfier, I was drawn to it more often. I guess what that means is that in a way, I found more time and opportunity to write. Go figure.
Of course it hasn’t been all bread and roses for me this year. Last year I pledged to be less grumpy and antagonistic. Well, I sorta managed to accomplish that, but still got drawn into enough skirmishes that I can’t boast to have gone through 2012 all that spotlessly. On the bright side, I seldom wrote diatribes…and never “started it”. Thing is, that’s still not good enough. Hopefully this year things can be even more peaceful. After all, I’m getting a little old for flame wars.
The funny thing about that is that once in a while someone will come to me looking for ideas or advice. While it usually begins with me wondering “why me?”, I have to believe that if I want to be in any position to be advising anyone on anything that I have to be better. At everything. I need to lead by example and that goes for both the thoughts I publish online and the public persona I embody. Am I over-thinking this? Hopefully not. Even if I am, what had ever came from someone wanting to be a better person?
So here I am again at a crossroads. One reasonably successful year for this space gone and a new one with new ambitions already begun. I’m loathe to get into specifics because I’m superstitious about such things, but I’m going to stretch myself a little further this year. Last year I pledged to walk on the sunny side of the road and sing the praises of what I saw. This year, I’m pledging to break free of my comfort zone and push myself a little harder (something I’ve seldom been any good at). Wish me luck.
Well if you got through all of that, you have my gratitude for being a sounding board and a witness. Consider yourself having a favour owed.
Now if you’ll excuse me, there are films to watch and words to write.