Ryan McNeil
I hope you’ll pardon a slight divergence today. At the moment, it’s one of those nights where I find myself unsure of what to write. As I consider this feeling, I notice Don Draper writing in a notebook on TV and Bob Dylan typing in the magazine on the table. Writers, writers everywhere nor any a word to jot.
As of New Year’s Day, this site and its predecessor marked two straight years of posting everyday. It started as a challenge and slowly it became habit. My habit is admittedly precarious, as I spend the minutes writing about someone else’s art. I’d like to think that I do so with some wit, but at the end of the day, I am still “dancing about architecture”.
Despite my content not being completely original, I still take pride in creating content about something that brings me such joy. In the time I’ve been creating that content, I’ve noticed changes around me. For starters, there’s my contemporaries. With every passing day, it feels like I have another conversation with another fellow blogger about how it isn’t any fun anymore. I’ve heard confessions these writers see things differently than the way they did when they started writing, that what seemed like fun son became work. Unpaid work. In other instances, it came down to not enough seconds in the day.
Such is life when you want to discuss art; Not only do you need time for the discussion, but you also need time to consume the art.
That of course is coming from the guy who has started writing on his lunch hours and subway rides to keep up with the year-end glut of content. Speaking of which, rumour has it I’m nuts. You see, in recent weeks until I received an especially wonderful Christmas gift, I was doing a lot of writing using my smartphone. Sure it resulted in an unfortunate typo or two thanks to autocorrect, but I’ve come to enjoy the convenience of it. What’s so nuts about that? Perhaps it’d be more romantic if I long-handed my thoughts in a notebook. If that’s not right, maybe I could join the throngs of keyboard typing, latté-sipping scribes that clog up every coffee shop from here to Timbuktu.
Instead, I’ve been cobbling together posts during coffee breaks and on subway rides. Sure, at a glance, writing a few hundred words with my thumbs on a touch-screen might seem slow and tedious. But think about this: If I were an especially active Tweeter, I’d probably pound out just as many words that way in a day anyway. Directing all of those immediate thoughts towards one subject just feels efficient. Or obsessive; you pick.
But here we are; another year of trying to keep up the daily routine…doing so with a shiny new pencil…hearing more new voices everyday…and noticing some of the old voices go quiet. It feels like the blogger’s equivalent of a crossroad, if we’re entitled to such dramatic moments. It feels like I should be making conscious decisions, and if that’s the case I consciously choose to keep walking forward. Actually, that might not be entirely true.
While I do still intend to spread the word on the arty films, and seek for the best of the mainstream, I hope to do so in 2012 with a little bit more joy. The past – the past year especially – seemed to contain too much grumpiness and antagonism. The world is already too full of that, especially the critical world. My choice at these crossroads is clear – to walk on the sunny side of the road, and sing the praises of the goodness I find there.
If you’ve read this far, I thank you for indulging my moment of self-reflection. Chronicling the cinematic joys of 2012 begins in earnest tomorrow.
I get you man… you know I get the same way every so often (I’ve posted about it often enough)… and yes after the splurge of content in the last 2 weeks of December you’re more than allowed a little breathing room…. I did the same thing today just throwing out a video post 😛
Thank-you sir.
I’m not so much looking to take a breath as I just wanted to reflect on where I’m at after two whole years of the daily routine. Every once in a while, I think it’s good for we as writers to talk about our habit.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt what you describe about blogging, but I also don’t blog constantly or consistently. I did feel that way about the Filmspotting forum, though. It’s a place I love and I still lurk there constantly, but I no longer post. I was simply there too much for too long and it started to affect me badly. I was getting annoyed constantly, and getting into some petty personal attacks sometimes.
In a way, blogging has been my saving grace. Also instant chatting with awesome people just Jessica.
Yeah, running the same circle over and over can lead to discontent in a hurry, and the tendency for things to get out of hand.
As for your site though, I vote you try to force your hand for a short while. Perhaps in February or March you could challenge yourself to write every day for the month.
That’s a nice thought, but honestly, it’s not something I care to hold myself to. For me it would feel like work extremely quickly. I’ve tried similar things before with previous blogs and it never turned out well.
I can understand your thoughts matey. It does feel like work sometimes. But my word it is fun too. You are a great blogger and I am in awe of you completely.
FRC is due it’s first birthday in a couple of weeks. I too have been reflecting, it seems to have grown quite a bit and now is constantly being sent screeners and bits of tech to test. But it only brings in enough cash to pay for some bills.
2012 is going to be a good year for us all.
thanks for sharing your thoughts, it was a pleasure to read.
The awe is mutual good sir.
FRC is only a year old? Cripes, I suddenly feel bushleague! I think you might have just inspired a few quiet goals for 2012.
Thanks for reading this post…I usually struggle with whether or not to post them. I fear they come across as too “Woe is me”
All I know is that I could never be a seven-days-a-week blogger. I need some time away from the keyboard. I tip my hat to any single person who can do it.
As I said to Corey, I challenge you to try it for a month and see what comes of it.
I have no desire to. I like my schedule the way it is. Took me months to come up with one that suited me!
Ryan, I can definitely understand what you’re feeling about blogging. I started my blog in March with plans to post once or twice a week, and it’s evolved into getting closer to posting every day in December. Near the end of that month, I was started to feel it. It’s been a lot of fun to do more than I expected, but I’m trying to find a happy medium as the year begins. I’m also trying to enjoy the take a bit more time with writing each post, even if it leads to a slightly reduced number. It’s the plan, at least. Nice post!
For a long time, I was alright with posting everyday. I find myself a bit off now that the holidays are over and I’m not writing three and four days ahead. The routine of sitting down at night to create something for the morning is where I’m off.
Thanks for reading sir!
For what it’s worth, I’ve always felt like you’re a film writer who more often than not stays on the sunny side of the street. Which I appreciate and which is why I love reading your material. And however frequently you continue to post in the New Year, I will continue to read.
Aw shucks, thanks dude. I tend to come at moviegoing from a positive place, my optimism needs now to spread out to the whole discussion and approach.
That said, thanks for the readership!
As we’ve chatted about before, I think the key is to be passionate about the writing – if you feel the urge to do it daily coming or just find that the daily posts keep your level of interest high, then that’s fantastic. Like Corey and Rich, though, I find that if I push myself to write just for the sake of posting something, then it feels like work and I start to lose interest…
Granted, I’ve heard several people say that you should force yourself to write every day – even if it’s a small bit here or there. It’s certainly good advice for those who aspire to write as a career, but it’s a hobby for me – I’m happy where my blog has taken me, but I’m also totally realistic as to what it all means for me. Anyway, I write enough at work and in comments sections that I’m pretty much flexing the old creative muscles regularly…
I’ve seen several fellow bloggers decry that things aren’t what they used to be. Fair enough and if they don’t want to participate anymore, that’s up to them. But it does bug me a bit…Of course things aren’t like they used to be – not much stays static these days (did anyone really think that the “blogging” world would remain constant?), so learn to keep pace. That can be fun too. If people find that there’s more “pressure” to write more often or to meet deadlines or to be “first” or that things aren’t as friendly, well, that’s essentially pressure they are putting on themselves. I’ve felt it too – I’ve seen others grow their sites and have “felt pressure” to do the same. So I made the choice to continue writing when I want to, in the way that I want to and engage the people I like. If my success doesn’t increase at the rate of others, so be it. I’m still miles ahead of where I started…
Also, don’t worry so much about only talking about the “good” things. I grant you antagonism isn’t great, but grumpy negativity can still be interesting and create discussion – especially if it’s done with passion and honesty. That’s what the critical world needs.
Again – strangely – we agree.
Thus far, touch wood, I’ve been able to keep up the daily routine. However, if I get to a place where I feel like I’m forcing things…or that it’s just “too much”…I’ll be happy to change up the rhythm.
The changes you mention are sort of what I was getting at. What I was specifically thinking about was the way life gets in the way for those who remain passionate but can’t keep the dust off their soapbox. It’s the reality that comes with this all being a hobby right? For those, I wish that they’d find other methods of social media to keep up the chatter…but like old army buddies, keeping the gang together is tricky at best.
Finally, my comment about the “good things” was infact a cry to be less antagonistic this year. It’s one thing for me to put a smile on my face and tell you (or more often these days, Corey) that you’re wrong. It’s a whole other thing for the characters of my commenst to stir up a fight without tone. That’s more what I’m looking to ease off on in 2012.
Thank-you for reading sir – you continue to inspire me.
Congratulations on your special Christmas gift, it did surprise me when I learned you wrote so much of your posts on a phone!
As for the main content of this post, I hear your grievances and I hope you do find ways to continue sharing your thoughts on film with the passion and good feeling I’ve come to regard you for. I’ve gone through a few “it’s not fun anymore” periods and have found that it helps to really rid myself of limitations. If I only felt like writing a paragraph about a film, then I would. If I wanted to be super goofy and flippant for an entire post, I would. It helped to change things up a bit and remember that I do this for myself and don’t need to meet anyone else’s expectations. I know my blog has a different format/content than yours but I think the general rule applies. Indeed, I would echo a lot of what Bob commented.
Good luck and I look forward to whatever you do this year! Keep being awesome!
That gives me a smile…
I don’t actually do “so much” of my writing via phone – though I wish I’d thought to do so during TIFF as it could easily have killed some downtime, and likewise saved me some sleep deprivation. The phone only really came into play in the last four weeks – my SHAME review was the first post written entirely via phone.
But do tell – what’s so crazy/surprising about using the phone?
You’re right though – the general rule of not being handcuffed by a format is something I need to remember. On days when I don’t feel like rambling on for 500 words, I need to remember that there’s more than one way to come at this crazy habit of mine.
I totally agree with you. Sometimes blogging does feel like a chore. I remember when school got particularly busy, I had to map out my free time very carefully, and everything wasn’t a ‘want’, it was a ‘need’. Literally, everything was scheduled: I’d do some homework until 7pm, have some tea, scribble down a blog post and then watch a movie. It got quite overwhelming, and it is only going to get more overwhelming this year. Still, I love blogging. It gives me a chance to talk about things that I can’t really talk about with anyone else, and it keeps me writing. I’m surprised I’ve lasted so long, too, since I had been blogging a good year and a bit before people really took notice of my site.
Anyway, it is amazing that you’ve been able to blog every day for the past two years! And the content has been so consistently great, too. This is exactly why you’re like my blogging idol, haha.
For starters, thanks for mentioning scheduling time to have a tea. Sometimes, I swear I’m the only person who drinks the stuff.
“Idol” – hush now, you flatter me. You mention something that took me back though: The long stretch of writing to a small audience. Not that my readership is all that vast right now, but it’s downright massive compared to that first year when I was writing to an audience of twelve (almost all of whom I knew personally). It’s a hard hurdle to clear, and I tip my hat to you for sticking with the busy routine long enough to get around it!
Thanks for the encouragement and the readership. Here’s to good things for both of us this year.
I have at least one former professor who would take issue with the idea that the writing of criticism is not original. That you’re reacting to the work of someone else doesn’t change the value of what it is. Criticism has its value in that it opens discussion and gives people a jumping-off point. You may be writing about what someone else has done, but the ideas in your writing are yours, are they not?
So, how is that not original?
You raise a good point, and I do value good criticism, especially in this era of films being great because they’re “awesome” and bad because they’re “boring”. There’s an art to good criticism, which is something I strive for – so if it seemed I was down on the format, I misspoke.
The reservation about being unoriginal/less original came more from thinking about a dear friend who has taken part in NaNo for a few years running now. Talking with her and having a minor hand in fleshing out her stories made me pine to do my own. I’m ashamed to admit though that I couldn’t seem to come up with an idea.
So when I pine for originality, it’s just me wishing I could find a way to dream a little bigger (darling).
I get it. I really do. It’s easy (and for many, pretty natural) to denigrate the things that we do and place on a pedestal those things we can’t, or that are more difficult. If something comes more easily, we figure that it can’t really be that hard–after all, it seems so easy. And even though it’s easy, it’s still so hard sometimes. If something that’s so obviously easy can still be that difficult, I must not be very good/smart/whatever.
All of this is hard. Writing is hard. Most writers hate their own work and wonder why it seems so easy and natural and good when other people do it.
Or to put it another way, I don’t see anything special or noteworthy in the fact that I know how to use a semicolon; to me, it’s a natural part of punctuation and writing. And yet I know many people who treat me like I’ve performed a magic trick when I do it. Along the same lines, I look at people who can change the oil in their cars with a mixture of awe and envy, and they wonder why I find it so astounding.
I hope that analogy works, but I rarely trust my own writing that much. And so the cycle goes.
The analogy does indeed work. Now that I think about it, with the amount of self-doubt I carry, maybe I’m further down the path of being a writer than I thought!
We always want to be able to do that which we can’t, right?
Thanks for reading, and for all the support.
Sorry for the late comment but I just want to say you are to be commended for blogging diligently EVERY SINGLE DAY. WOW, I know I can’t do it… especially writing GOOD posts like yours day in and day out. Hats off to you Ryan, you’re what lots of us aspire to be.
I really wasn’t looking for pats on the back with this post, but since I’m getting them, I won’t complain.
Thank-you Ruth. Someday, before too long I’ll run out of bright ideas and take time off from the daily routine. For now though, readers and fellow writers like yourself continue to inspire me to keep up the pace. You keep reading ’em, I’ll keep writing ’em.